Once Upon a Manifesto

I was cleaning out my emails this morning when I happened upon the missive I sent to my fellow creatives at Bernstein-Rein on my last day back in February 2005. Here’s the meat of that email, offered because I believe it all to still be true. My apologies for the inside jokes, but you’ll get the idea. Also, I need to buy more black clothing.

Things to Remember When Creating an Ad (and Other Random Musings):

1. Nobody wants to read/watch your ad; give them a reason to.


2. You will constantly have to remind others that you don't need to say the product in the first sentence of a TV spot. It's 30 seconds. If you can't hold someone's attention for the 20 seconds it takes you to get to the product name, find some other line of work.


3. A technique or look is no substitute for substance. Monkeys, however, are.


4. When someone tells you, "We'll really have to do a good job of casting for this one," look him in the eye and respond, "Well, you know, that *is* actually our job." Although I personally prefer something much more sarcastic.


5. If a direct-mail person tells you you have to have an odd number of bullet points, use one per subhead. After all, you can't argue with the science behind a 1% response rate.


6. Never underestimate the intelligence of your audience. The subtleties of value-priced hemorrhoid cream are lost on few.


7. The AE is not your CD/writer/art director/producer no matter what the Wal-Mart account people think.


8. The next time someone tells you, "We've got to pick our battles," ask them if they can even remember the last battle they picked.


9. Ellipses are the devil's handiwork and/or handmaiden (sorry, Shan).


10. Assume you're right until proven otherwise.


11. It's the little compromises that add up to a giant bucket of suck.


12. Black is still slimming.

Later,

Fox