Merry Christmas

My wife, Pancake the Wonderdog and I are about to head out on our whirlwind Grand Christmas Caravan 2006 in which we drive to Kansas City for Christmas, then to southeast Iowa (Megan’s folks) for more Christmas, then back to KC before eventually making it back to Dallas. I’m already tired.

But before I bid adieu for 2006, I wanted to leave you with this lovely little story that I found in my inbox this morning. Like all the best stories, this one is true. It happened to my friend and A-list director (hire him) Norry Niven. Here it is, with his permission:

Yesterday evening I stopped for gas on my way home from work and noticed an old stray dog waiting outside the store. Not too close to suggest he was a pet yet just close enough and skinny enough to say he was hungry enough to be there, waiting for anything to eat. He was a large, collar-less, black dog with a mangy, soft coat and big, sweet eyes.

As I went inside to pay I hoped he'd be there long enough for me to get him a bite of something warm for dinner. I scoured the store quickly and purchased a preheated sausage in one of those gas station fried food vending areas; barely qualifying as human food, this was the easy choice.

When I returned outside there was a man, who had his dinner on a newspaper stand and was yelling at the dog to leave saying, "Get out from here dog, this is my food!" The dog started to go back into the street but I got his attention with the grub.

The man said, "Is that your dog?"

I said, "Not mine....that dog belongs to all of us."

The stray ate what I gave him in seconds as I returned to my car.

Driving away I got stopped at the light, looked across traffic and saw something that brought the spirit of the holiday back into my heart.

The man who had been screaming at the poor stray.

The man who snarled at me.

The man who stood there and saw that dog's sweet eyes and who saw how quickly he'd eaten my food.

That man was kneeling down, sharing half of his sandwich with that old, hungry, stray mutt.

And isn't that what giving is all about?

So that others will do the same and eventually the less fortunate might survive through at least one more cold, heartless, winter night.

One good deed to your fellow man, one kind act, that's all it takes.

God bless and Merry Christmas -
Norry


Merry Christmas, everyone.

Fox

The Easiest Gift You'll Ever Give

Want to do something good while only lifting your clicking finger? Make isara.com your homepage. It’s a web portal with Google searching built in, so you can go there instead of Google. More importantly, all ad revenue generated by the site is donated to charity. Founded by a fellow film/video aficionado – and all-around better guy than myself – who lives halfway around the world in Thailand. Check out the video for more info. Then go change your homepage.

Merry Christmas,

Fox

Shut Up and Advertise

Yes, yes, I know. Just one short day after inviting you to open your collective joyhole and shout, “Merry Christmas,” I’m now instructing you to pipe down and do some advertising. Well, remain calm. I’m not speaking to all of you.

I’m speaking to the over-thinkers, the focus group wonks, the what-iffers and what-elsers that can’t seem to get out of their own way and actually run a decent ad. Or any ad, for that matter.

You know who you are.

Here’s a newsflash: Advertising is not hard. It’s not easy, no, but it’s not nearly as difficult as some of you make it out to be. The key to creating good ads is the same as it is for running any successful business: It’s the people. Get creatives that can turn the art of commerce into artful commerce. Find account planners that really do become the voice of the consumer and not the voice of the latest research trend. Dig deep and find account people who actually love and understand advertising. They do exist. I’ve met them.

Look around your office. Do you have these people? If so, move to the second, final and most important step:

Let these people do their jobs.

This goes for owners, account directors, CDs and peers. If the only thing you do all day is sit around deconstructing the efforts of others to find the .05% of their ideas that might not work, go away. If you can only ask a creative to sell you on an idea instead of being able to sell it back to them, shut up. If think your job is to make sure an ad is bulletproof before it goes in front of the client, guess again. No ad is invincible. No ad will ever be universally loved. The only way you’ll ever get everyone to agree on an ad is when it reeks. And even then some direct mail person will scoop up the remains and send them out in a “targeted e-blast.”

I know, you know and the client knows there are infinity-plus-one ways to solve a problem. So quit trying to find the one you think is “the best” and look for one (or three) that works. Unless you never have a deadline. Then feel free to tinker all you want. The rest of us will be over here in the real world getting the job done.

If you can honestly help make an idea better, speak up. Most people – even creatives – want the end product to be as great as possible. I’ll even thank you by name when accepting my pencil. But if you’re just in it to cast doubt and aspersions and bandy about fear like a radioactive beach ball, then please, just sit there. Observe. Maybe you’ll learn something.

After all, most of us do know what we’re doing. So get out of our way, and let us do what we do best.

Advertising.


Later,

Fox

Open Your JoyHole and Shout...

Merry Christmas!

Offended yet? No? Not even a little? Must be losing my touch. Surely, if one believes the Powers That Be in the media, there is no more incendiary salutation than “Merry Christmas.” Why, the mere hint of the C-word will most assuredly send the culturally sensitive among us into apoplectic fits.

But I’m not here to discuss the larger cultural issues associated with Christmas and the repeated attacks it endures each year from the secularists. I’m here to chastise advertisers who refuse to acknowledge the holiday even exists anymore.

Holiday trees. Holiday decorations. Holiday shopping. Holiday get-togethers. Holiday sales. Come one! Come all! It’s the Generic Holiday Season! Buy our stuff!

Here’s my one point: if you don’t mind making 40% of your profits during one six-week period; if you don’t mind advertising sale upon sale and having extended hours during the month of December; if you have no problem decking the aisles with red and green while accepting consumers’ green at the register; if, in other words, you have no problem making money off of Christmas, then come out and say CHRISTMAS.

Who exactly are you going to offend? Hanukkah shoppers? I’ve known several dozen Jewish people in my life and not one ever threatened to smack me down for being overly jolly. Maybe the Kwanzaa gang will come after you. All 54 of them. Followers of Festivus? They party just like the rest of us.

And what if someone is offended? So what? If you really wanted to be all things to all people you should’ve gone into politics. And maybe, just maybe, that .000045% of sales you lose will be up for by shoppers who are happy to have their holiday recognized and respected instead of just ripped off for commercial purposes. Just a thought.

I promise: We Christmas shoppers will not get offended if you have a Ramadan sale. As long as you have deep discounts on flat-screen TVs.

So come on, Best Buy and Target and CompUSA! Join with Kohl’s and Wal-Mart and other merchants who finally realized that the reason their sales drop off dramatically on December 25 is because it just happens to be Christmas.

You don’t have to acknowledge that Christ is Lord. Just acknowledge that, without His birth, you’d be in a world of hurt making your numbers.

Feliz Navidad,

Fox

Lamar Hunt, 1932 - 2006

Lamar Hunt passed away last night. The owner of the Kansas City Chiefs was the architect of the American Football League, which came to be the AFC when the AFL and NFL merged. He is responsible for naming the Super Bowl (purported after the Wham-O Super Ball). More importantly, he was a good, Christian man who put others -- his family, his team, his favorite cities of Dallas and KC -- above himself. He will be missed.

For more information on Mr. Hunt, visit The Kansas City Chiefs Official Site.

Peace,

Fox

But Did He Come From Alabama?

So my buddy Mike, co-proprietor of O’Malley’s Irish Pub and the Weston Brewing Company, calls me up the other day and asks, “Who’s the weirdest person you can imagine coming into the pub and playing banjo with Bob [our usual entertainment]?”

“I dunno,” says I. “The guy who played Dauber on the hit ABC series ‘Coach’?”

“Close. Kevin Nealon.”

“Sweet. Now I’m two degrees from Kevins Bacon and Nealon.”

“Well then, Merry Christmas to you.”

“Indeed.”

Most of our conversations are like this, by the way. Although only 35%-40% feature guys named Kevin.

Later,

Fox

I Always Thought Chewbacca Was Jewish

Just watch this. If only for the opening credits. Wow.

You're welcome,

Fox

Pre-Blog Updated

Who Is Jason Fox, my insanely long biography begun years and years and years before the emergence of blogging, has been updated with entries for August - November, 2006. Enjoy. And if you waste a whole day reading it all, that's your issue.

Later,

Fox

A Date That Will Live in Shame

Sixty-five years after the attack on Pearl Harbor awoke the sleeping giant known as the United States of America, we end up here.

Someone cue Santayana.

Later,

Fox

No Comment

Actually, lots of comments. Apparently, I had turned on comment moderation whilst in some late-night stupor induced by watching one-too-many AbLoungeXL infomercials. So about 20 or so comments from the past six weeks or so were backed up in the plumbing (Google's, not mine). I've plunged them free, so rejoice or something. I dunno. There are some doozies, though, so check them out.

Later,

Fox

Bad Tagline of the Week #1

We’ll see if I actually manage to make this a weekly occurrence, but after hearing this absurd tagline on the radio this morning I just had to share. Are you ready? Are you sure? Okay.

OmniAmerican Bank is Pioneering forward.

Note the lack of a capital “F.” That’s straight from their website.

How is this awful? Let me count the ways:

1. The tagline includes the name of the company. Apparently in hopes of forcing people to remember the name – hey, you can’t remember the tagline without the name of the bank! Good call.
   
   
2. Wow, you’re moving forward? I was hoping for a more sixth-century acting banking institution.
   
   
3. Pioneering is not a verb. It’s an adjective. The bank can be pioneering, but it cannot commence with pioneering; e.g., “Hey, Bob, let’s go out pioneering at the Kit Kat Klub later.” The only form of “pioneer” that is a verb is “pioneered,” and it’s transitive. Look it up.
   
   
4. Did you see #3?

I blame this on Kinko’s. Years ago, while many of you were still tickling your non-TMX Elmos, Kinko’s ran a campaign that turned “office” into a verb. That tagline: The new way to office.

Ten years later, we end up here. Alone and weepy.

Later,

Fox

The Oath of Office

Newly elected congressman Keith Ellison (D-Minn) is the first Muslim to be elected to the United States Congress. Good for him. He joins the hundreds of Christians, Jews, Mormons, Atheists and Agnostics who have served in this body through the years. Thing is, Mr. Ellison is insisting that he be allowed to take the oath of office by swearing on a Koran, not the Bible. Something that has never been done in our history. Is this really such a big deal? I think so. But I have some freelance to work on, so I’ll leave it to Dennis Prager to explain why.

Later,

Fox

Gonna Fly Now

I admit it. I actually can’t wait for Rocky Balboa to open on December 22. I’ll wait for the chuckling to stop.

Okay, here’s the backstory: The original Rocky, which was released 30 years ago in 1976, is the first movie I remember seeing in the theater. I was four. I can only assume my parents figured I wouldn’t really pay attention. But I did. Fortunately for them, my brother was three years older and I was smart enough to not try whaling on him when we got home.

I loved that first movie. What kid wouldn’t? You’re small, you have no rights, you can’t really do anything, you’re the youngest sibling (in my case) and you’re a bit of an introvert (severely so, in my case). You are Rocky. The underdog that overreaches. The guy who doesn’t just dream the impossible dream, he beats that dream into submission one side of beef at a time. Who wouldn’t like that?

(Apparently, everybody liked it. After all, it did win Academy Awards for Best Director and Best Picture, along with nominations for Best Actor and Best Screenplay for Stallone.)

I grew up with Rocky Balboa. The sequel where he actually wins the title (forgot that he only tied in the first one, did you?) The third one where Mr. T vows to take his woman and “Eye of the Tiger” sets the stage for one of the Best TV Spots Ever. Rocky IV brought us some sweet jingoism, Dolph Lundgren and the future Ms. Ex-Stallone Brigitte Nielsen, as well as another sweet Survivor tune (“Burning Heart”) that I played in 7th-grade band. I believe there was also a fifth Rocky movie, but most people choose to disavow its existence.

I played “Gonna Fly Now” in the 7th-grade talent show. Maynard Ferguson I ain’t, but I rocked that junior high gym stone cold. Heck yeah.

So yes, I have an affinity for the series as a whole. But I’m also interested in this final chapter because it mirrors Stallone’s own life. Rocky was his triumph. His nadir was, well, how do you choose? Cobra? Over the Top? Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot? Driven? And did I mention Brigitte “Now Ms. Ex-Flava Flav” Nielsen?

Wow.

But now he’s back. He wrote the screenplay. He directed the movie. His arms are thicker than my torso. He’s even pitching the movie to the faith-based audience.

Are these good things? Maybe, maybe not. But I’ll be pulling for the Italian Stallion. After all, I do love a good underdog story.

Later,

Fox

Burger King Brings the Pain

This might be the coolest thing Cripin Porter Bogusky Fox has ever done. BKGamer.com. Go now. Go on. Git. Don’t make me sic Jack Palance on you.

Later,

Fox

Consumer Generated Gunk

There’s a lot of flotsam floating about the blogosphere at the moment regarding Consumer Generated Content. I know this only because I just read my buddy James’s blog over at Yonder Ponder. Otherwise, I probably would’ve ignored the whole mess.

Here’s an argument that is either for or against CGC, as it is known. Which side of the argument you think it’s for depends on your personal point of view. And if you can't guess mine, you must be new around here.




Happy trails,

Fox

I love the new Roman & Victor campaign for Citi. Spots directed by Jared Hess. Print shot by Aaron “Kip Dynamite” Ruell. Good stuff. But is anybody else wondering how they got Judd Hirsh to do this? I would’ve thought Rev. Jim to be more appropriate. But hey, whatever works. And thanks to American Copywriter for the stolen image.

Later,

Fox

In a World...

You’ve heard his voice approximately six billion times. You’ve even seen him in the recent Geico television campaign. Now find out a little more about the man who makes more in one day of talking than I do in over a year of pimping the value. Ladies and gentlemen, Don LaFontaine.

Yes, I know this isn’t a new segment, but it’s still good for the kids.

Later,

Fox

I Blog Bigger Than You

Jack Palance died yesterday. Or, more likely, he chose to stop living. I doubt death held much sway over Jack Palance. He was one of my favorite actors for a few simple, if possibly odd, reasons:

1. He hosted the television version of “Ripley’s…Believe It or Not” when I was a kid. The best part of the entire show was when he would end a segment by intoning, “Believe it! [then he’d sharply inhale] Or not!”



2. As most people know, Jack, at age 114, he performed 2,439 one-arm push-ups at the Academy Awards. I’m still working on my first.



3. In the mid 90s he cut a commercial for Aqua Velva that included not one, but two eminently quotable lines. “I don’t need some fancy cologne to tell me I’m a man,” and, “Confidence is so sexy, don’t you think?”

Can you argue with either of those statements? No. You can’t. And if you try, Mr. Palance’s disembodied soul will hunt you down and crush you like the Hai Karate-wearing punk you are.

Believe it. [sharp inhale] Or not.

Later,

Fox

Death to MarCommunism

Are you a marketing communications specialist? Do you synthesize actionable items by day and move from strength to strength at night? Going forward, do you seek to exploit the synergies of multimedia interactivity with micro-targeted opt-in programs?

Then stop reading now.

Hate is a strong word. So when I say that I hate the phrase “marketing communications,” you can trust that I’m not using it for hyperbole. I hate marketing communications consultants. I hate marketing communications materials. And I have difficulty trusting any entity that refers to itself as a marketing communications firm. (Double points off if “strategic” is in front of that descriptor. Gee, you use strategy? How novel. We were looking for something a bit more willy-nilly.)

Why such vitriol for the Double M of Mephistopheles? Because the phrase does exactly what “marketing communications” aren’t supposed to do: complicate the truth. Marketing communications – even junk mail, spam blasts and flyers touting the local club for discriminating gentlemen – are advertising. Period. So call it advertising.

People know what advertising is.

Which is, of course, the reason some people don’t like calling it advertising.

Advertising connotes a certain amount of creativity went into the finished piece. A bit of artistry. A touch of inspiration. Basically, the very things most marketing communications materials lack.

Marketing communications materials are by the numbers. They stick to tried-and-supposedly-true formulas. Sending a direct mail letter? Make it a personal appeal from someone in the company, but write it with plenty of bullet points – and always have an odd number of bullet points.

And please avoid any form of mass media. Marketing communications must be targeted according to ZIP, age, income, hair color, religious affiliation and preference for tomatoes or tomahtoes.

Marketing communications materials show their strategy. Wouldn’t want the audience to misinterpret anything by letting a little entertainment value get in the way of the message. And would an exclamation point or three kill you? Didn’t think so!

By claiming to produce marketing communications materials instead of advertising, the offending company absolves itself from having to produce good work. Keep production cheap and response rates good enough and you’ve got yourself a respectable ROI, Skippy. So what if the brand image suffers? Live in the now, man!

Of course, many clients love marketing materials. They’re concrete. They’re measurable. They have a specific purpose. They’re for marketing, by gum, and we gotta sell, sell, sell! Advertising might be about moving the needle, but it might also just create warm, fuzzy feelings in consumers’ hearts. Where does that leave you? People feeling sorry for you when you file Chapter 11? Not on this marketing manager’s watch, bub.

Now, I’ve dealt with agencies that used the term “marketing communications” that were, at their heart, ad agencies. They just got sucked into the jargon a bit. Such is life. I’ve also dealt with so-called advertising agencies that did nothing but produce marketing communications materials. You find a lot of frustrated people (and not just creatives) in those shops.

I’ve spouted this rant to get down to this: Can we please just get back to doing some good ads? People like good ads. They rewind the Tivo for good ads. They email good ads to friends. They remember good ads. They act upon good ads.

Ads, people, ads.

Because no one has ever run up to a friend, their voice quivering with excitement, and said, “Dude, check out these sweet marketing communications I got last night!”

Later,

Fox

Congratulations, America

You get what you deserve.

Fox