Sunday, December 17, 2006

Open Your JoyHole and Shout...

Merry Christmas!

Offended yet? No? Not even a little? Must be losing my touch. Surely, if one believes the Powers That Be in the media, there is no more incendiary salutation than “Merry Christmas.” Why, the mere hint of the C-word will most assuredly send the culturally sensitive among us into apoplectic fits.

But I’m not here to discuss the larger cultural issues associated with Christmas and the repeated attacks it endures each year from the secularists. I’m here to chastise advertisers who refuse to acknowledge the holiday even exists anymore.

Holiday trees. Holiday decorations. Holiday shopping. Holiday get-togethers. Holiday sales. Come one! Come all! It’s the Generic Holiday Season! Buy our stuff!

Here’s my one point: if you don’t mind making 40% of your profits during one six-week period; if you don’t mind advertising sale upon sale and having extended hours during the month of December; if you have no problem decking the aisles with red and green while accepting consumers’ green at the register; if, in other words, you have no problem making money off of Christmas, then come out and say CHRISTMAS.

Who exactly are you going to offend? Hanukkah shoppers? I’ve known several dozen Jewish people in my life and not one ever threatened to smack me down for being overly jolly. Maybe the Kwanzaa gang will come after you. All 54 of them. Followers of Festivus? They party just like the rest of us.

And what if someone is offended? So what? If you really wanted to be all things to all people you should’ve gone into politics. And maybe, just maybe, that .000045% of sales you lose will be up for by shoppers who are happy to have their holiday recognized and respected instead of just ripped off for commercial purposes. Just a thought.

I promise: We Christmas shoppers will not get offended if you have a Ramadan sale. As long as you have deep discounts on flat-screen TVs.

So come on, Best Buy and Target and CompUSA! Join with Kohl’s and Wal-Mart and other merchants who finally realized that the reason their sales drop off dramatically on December 25 is because it just happens to be Christmas.

You don’t have to acknowledge that Christ is Lord. Just acknowledge that, without His birth, you’d be in a world of hurt making your numbers.

Feliz Navidad,

Fox

2 comments:

James-H said...

Heloooo. Separation of church and commerce? Actually, can't you just see JC walking into a Wal-Mart or Circuit City and turning over all the registers?

That's make for a good spoecial interest story: crazed "savior" denounces holiday season.

Jason Fox said...

Actually, I can see that. Probably not too far from what would happen. Considering how we've set up the graven image of TMX Elmo. Don't get me started on the satananic overtones of Teddy Ruxpin.